martes, 5 de octubre de 2010

English For Chibchombians: The Culinary Edition

Jelou my gringo friend! Are you canseited of to eat hamburgers, pizza, hot dogs, tacos and little donkeys? You want try something new? But ohhh.. wait tantico, you no espik espanish! very very bad. No prrrroblem! Me have solushion for you. With this curseishion, you will can go into Colombian restaurant and no look like an ass. I already do all the trabajeishion for you! Just follow my simple steps, and you will be happy like a perdiz (or happy like a lombriz).

The next time you no see english traducceishion in the menu, use these magical keywords, and you, my frrriend, will be to eating very very much in less than a rooster sings:

  • Parrot eggs = huevos pericos
  • More-I-Tie = masato
  • Refull = rellena
  • Splashed potato = papa chorriada
  • Very mad = chicha
  • Big headed onion = cebolla cabezona
  • Over belly = sobrebarriga
  • U2 singer bread = pandebono
  • Waterpanel = aguapanela
  • Little kid rice = arroz chino
  • Widow fish = viudo de pescado
  • Portuan salami = salchichon portuano
  • Slowies = lentejas
  • Refull dude = muchacho relleno
  • It's bad = tamal
  • Paisan tray = bandeja paisa
  • Beans with hoof = frijoles con pezuña
  • For her = paella
  • Big booty ants = hormigas culonas
  • Stepped on for-heel = patacon pisao
  • Mor-chair = morcilla
  • Very angry salt = salchicha
  • Deviled huge cameras = camarones a la diabla
  • Milky = lechona

... and if you want to try the MONDONGO, just say "Mama, no te vayas" in your natural language.

... and if you want to no make dirty the plates, just say "I want to eat in a bum plate" (plato desechable).

Feliciteishions! You have now tried Colombian food. Now go take a shit!


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